Philip > Books: jordabecker-philip‎ (25)

There in the cocktail lounge, the pill and the alcohol gave me a terrific sense of urgency about explaining all the things I hadn't explained, yet, and hurtling on with my tale.
Let's see: I have already explained Dwayne's uncharacteristic ability to read so fast. Kilgore Trout probably couldn't have made his trip from New York City in the time I allotted, but it's too late to bugger around with that. Let it stand, let it stand!
Let's see, let's see. Oh, yes-I have to explain a jacket Trout will see at the hospital. It will look like this from the back:...

Do not dress in a clean garment,
they would surely take it as the sign of a stranger!
Do not anoint yourself in sweet oil from the flask,
at the scent of it they would surely surround you!
Do not hurl a throwstick in the Netherworld,
those struck by the throwstick would surely surround you!
Do not hold a cornel rod in your hand,
the shades would tremble before you!
Do not wear sandals on your feet,
you must not make a noise in the Netherworld!
Do not kiss the wife you loved,
do not strike the wife you hated,
do not kiss the son you loved,
do not strike the son you hated,
the outcry of the Netherworld would seize you!

Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much to say,- Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we no longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all around; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.

"I saw the days of the year stretching ahead like a series of bright white boxes, and separating one box from another was sleep, like a black shade. Only for me, the long perspective of shades that set off one box from the next had suddenly snapped up, and I could see day after day after day glaring ahead of me like a white, broad, infinitely desolate avenue.
It seemed silly to wash one day when I would only have to wash again the next.
It made me tired just to think of it.
I wanted to do everything once and for all and be through with it."

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”