Caption Competition

Some revellers at Glastonbury lose their mobile phones in the strangest of places

The new rules for Formula One showed Max's personal life did impinge on his work.

The wheels come off Elton John's attempt to outdo George Sampson's win in "Britain's Got Talent".

The combination of a wet summer and the loss of her driving licence made getting to work even harder for Anne Robinson.

With the credit crunch, some travellers are downsizing their scuba diving trips

Natalie Bent of Kent … Help, I can feel a limerick coming on. Nurse, the screens!

London Mayor'makes preparations for further 'Global Warming monsoons'

Here we see one of the guides at the new George W. Bush Memorial Sewage Plant

If she can have a bat down her cleavage, I can have my arm up an otter.

Now I know why most Welsh rivers are clogged up with rusty old bikes

There was a young maiden from Kent,
Who went by the surname of Bent.
She fell down in the bog,
But was helped by a snog,
By a dashing young Tour de France gent.

The MoD strenously denies that troops are lacking in proper equipment

Wait a minute, there's a water rat and mole down here chanting, "No badger cull."

Lavinia finally managed to find that pound coin she'd swallowed

Are you sure this is where you lost your contact lense?

I’d give it a couple of minutes if I were you..

Casino Royale stunt-woman manages to get Daniel Craig’s dentures back for him

(Thinks) If only I’d worked harder and got my degree …

You're not keen on meeting my mother, are you?

Bank's new ATM makes it harder for depositers to withdraw their money.

Even in rural Wales, the Royal Mail sticks to its promise "The Mail must get through."

Publicity shot for re-release of "Fat Bottomed Girls/I Want To Ride My Bicycle" by Queen.

Paula Radcliffe's latest marathon cut short again.

"I'm offering you the time of cherries and roses, the time of silky caresses.."

South Africa unveil their latest wet weather bowling sensation - Morkel The Snorkel.

Tour de France interrupted by a miner distraction.

The re-make of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was dogged by budget cuts.

"Timothy Barnes, I presume."

get a job

This was the last time Sheila agreed to come away with Gareth for a dirty weekend

Natalie, knocked from her bike by a passing 4x4 and denied a place in an NHS hospital is determined to push water unhill to create herself a (river) bed

"I know I was late to the party MM but please, can't i choose my own forfeit?"

says PM

Underwater birthing midwife demonstrates the latest breathing technique.

It was never like this when I gave the sword to King Arthur

Boris Johnson wasn't happy about the decision to relocate the mayoral offices to the Thames estuary.

"If that's not my mobile then there's a fish in my bra"

One competitor was well prepared for the British leg of the Tour De France

Global warming to blame as river levels fall

Natalie was trying a little too hard to qualify to compete in the Beijing Olympics Triathalon

Given previous problems, Time Team decided it best to film their next series during this Summer..

If I find this DOESN'T get me excused road tax...

"Sex and the City 2" on location

The Batley Townswomans Guild Presents the Battle of Trafalgar.

"When I find that pedalo salesman ..."

"Wader, there's a girl in the soup"

Rescue mission for Doctor Foster reaches its climax.

And now for your elocution lesson.

Who put the 'nork' in 'snorkelling'?

Contestant in new game of " Water Twister" awaits her next turn...

The distaff side of Mobile Polish Plumbers PLC regrets opening a branch in Tregaron

Trying to think up a voice for the new character really stumped Johnny Morris

@Fauconnier - too good an opportunity to miss!

A lovely young lady from Kent
Took part in a special event
While bog snorkel biking
Her wheel kept on striking
And alas, got all buckled and bent!

The hen night was going really well until....

Special search and rescue task force called in as London mayor disappears during monsoon cycle ride

The World Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling organisers insisted on doping controls, only dopes could compete.

A Raleigh bike? It's Sir Walter and his cloak I need at the moment.

Natalie's scheme to avoid the congestion charge was scuppered in the early stages.

I told you to have the birth at home, in bed, but would you listen?

"Of course I was very, very drunk at the time"

Anne Robinson was unimpressed by her new mode of transport.

Madonna demonstrates that she is prepared to try anything to keep the spice in her marriage.

As soon as Dr Jekyll felt the water touch his face, he knew he was in trouble.

The Royal Navy finds an innovative way to cut back on their fuel use.

Natalie Bent, Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling Party. One of the more serious contenders in the Haltemprice and Howden by-election.

The minister for sport's insitance on building the Velodrome for London 2012 on a flood plane is really starting to annoy some atheletes!

...however Hackney council insists its new cycle lanes comply with current regulations

As soon as he added water to his "Instant cyclist" kit, John knew he'd got the mix wrong.

Barratt shelves plans to build on another flood plain

One result of Global Warming was that the Damsel flies were much bigger.

Natalie wasn't impressed with her new set of drop handlebars.

"Bat leader to bat wing - prepare to ditch."

Rising fuel prices impact on Goodwood Festival of Speed

What's being said?

Snorkel in mouth..........
Uh hoo hoo guh hoo guh.

A lady called Natalie Bent
Took part in a funny event
Her mascara it ran
And off came her fake tan
When into the water she went

M and S unveils its new all-weather Summer fashion range.

Britain in crisis as counterfeit "Sure" antiperspirants fail miserably

Chelsea apartments are getting risky, lets try outside, eh?

Lost Season 4 - They'll try anything to get off the island!

With rain effecting the Womens Tour de France, the British team decide to bring on a sub.

Candidates arrive at the Haltemprice and Howden by-election polling station desperate to demonstrate their green credentials.

Cyclists not impressed with Tour de France route

No Miss, I said to get your snorkels out

Jade Goody regrets using Toys R Us as her equipment sponsor for the celebrity triathalon.

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The third Williams sister tries to prove herself world-class at anything other than tennis

Oh no, now I shall be late for the Queen's Garden Party

Are you sure this is going to get more punters than the donkeys?

Natalie Kent going down for the count during the third stage of the Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling Championships being held in Muff, County Donegal

"Surely my dignity must be around here somewhere..."

All I can say is Magazine Monitor has a ruddy funny way of celebrating its fifth birthday

"Oh look honey, there's some lovely filth over 'ere!"

No Natalie, I meant rules of the road, not woad...

"I'm telling you for the last time John, credit crunch or not, next year it's Greece!"

Natalie's dream to become a World Champion are dashed again. Nevertheless she remains optimistic for next year's World Blind-folded Unicycle Cheese Rolling event.

Despite careful preparation, Natalie was floored once again but that pothole by the traffic lights.

The organisors of the 2012 olympics' velodrome decide to give it a go before they've worked all the kinks out

Fashion is just about attitude.

Elaines' performance at the Eisteddbog was not as good.

Natalie was pleased to hear the congestion charge hike wasn't going to happen after all and she could get back behind the wheel

April 2011 and the Road Fund License increases have had the expected effect; fewer cars but just as much flooding.